Friday, October 18, 2013

How do you get back to horses after having kids?

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horsin1787


I'm a stay at home momma to two wonder kids, but I really miss riding. Just wondering how other horsey moms do it.


Answer
It is not easy to juggle ;-) I have 4 girls, they are 7yo twins, 5yo and 3yo.

I found it particularly hard to get back into riding after my twins. I was fine for the initial 3 months and bought a new dressage horse and was even back having lessons.

Unfortunately one had a brain haemorrhage and I was not able to ride for virtually 2 years. We live on our own large property and my horses are at home with me. However I have no family support near by (we are in a rural area) or anyone that can watch my children for me to ride.

Once I had made my decision to get back in the saddle on a regular basis, I needed to find a way to make it work without inconveniencing my husband too much as he is busy on the farm.

I took one of the paddocks right beside my house and turned it into an arena. This way I was close enough to the house that the baby monitor worked. I have one with a LCD screen and sound, so I never missed anything and could literally get off the horse and into the house in the time it would take someone to get up the stairs. A 2 hour nap was plenty of time to ride.

I built a child proof pool fence play area between my house and arena. I could watch them play while I was riding and they could sit there if they wished and watch me riding. A great way to desensitize a horse to trampolines and other child noises ;-)

As the girls got older it certainly got easier when they were going to school. Although I still have one at home during the day, one child is easier for hubby to take in the tractor or for me to arrange to ride on days he is doing work he can have a toddler with him in safety.

I'm counting down to next year because she will be in preschool and I will be able to have regular set lesson days (unless kids are sick).

~ My main way of being out with the horses with only one child (way too hard with twins) is to get the 3yo involved also. If I'm leading horses I throw her on top of the quietest one (with a helmet), she comes with me to rug and unrug twice a day and when my older girls are riding I put her on the Shetland so she is apart of the action also.

You have not said how old your children are? If they are older then get some lessons for them also, it is lovely to ride with your children. If they are younger and you don't have someone to mind them, then leave them in the pram at the gate. I spent many hours at the gate of the dressage arena while my mum was riding.

My mum rode with all 3 of us kids and never missed a beat in competition (eventing). Dad was a truck driver so he did not mind us much. She either had us in the pram at the gate or on the front of the saddle with quieter horses. We were all 5 years apart, so she got one child off to school and then had the next one arrive ;-)

If your riding at a lesson school, I would seriously ask the people if they had someone available to watch your children while you had a 30 minute lesson. You pay the staff member for their time, it should only be their hourly wage and would not be much. Any smart business person would do this on a fortnightly or monthly basis until your kids are at school. They get business and have not lost money if you have paid the staff member. Worth a shot!

If you don't have support and are riding at a place that wont allow you to have the child on site. Don't forget about community based programs for child care. There are a few around that will offer parents respite care for people with multiple children, children with disabilities or single parents. I don't know if any of those fit your situation, but it is worth looking what is available in your area.

Last but not least, ask hubby for some "me" time. I'm happier when I'm physically active and riding. It keeps me strong physically and mentally. The benefits run right through the family home when your feeling good about yourself and fulfilled.

Good luck ;-)

My baby is almost 7 months and tonight is the first night he'll be sleeping by himself in his crib. Of course?




angela


we have the baby monitors on. If he cries tonight should I go in and calm him or let him cry? The doctor says he needs to calm himself and doesn't need to be fed at night. Should I though? Doctors are all about the "cry it out method". I cried it out just putting him into bed and hearing his scared cry tonight even with the night light on. With the fear of sids on my mind I don't know if I'll be able to sleep.


Answer
I have four kids. My first two I let 'cry a few minutes' and ALWAYS ended up in their rooms multiple times a night. And it lasted until they were both around two. Babies aren't stupid. Sure they don't know when three or five minutes have passed, but they do know 'if I cry, mom comes'

Well my third child started on solids, same pedi tells me its time to get her sleeping all night, he said DO NOT GIVE IN! He said let her cry and I PROMISE after two nights... DONE. Well she cried a lot the first night, it was tough, very tough. The second night, she slept all night. I realize not all babies will adjust after just one night. I sure wished I had listened with my first two kids. I guarantee the chances of your baby sleeping thru the night are next to zero if you keep going in when they cry.

Also, I'm not sure I would even use a blanket if it were a good temp and baby has pajamas on. And nothing big enough or thick enough to restrict breathing. The whole sleeping thing is very controversial, and SOME say its more dangerous for baby to be in bed with parents. But I had mine in my bed sometimes. Baby #4 is in my bed now.

If you are doing this don't give in, you can sneak a peak at baby, check on baby while he/she is asleep. But don't give in! I am proof of what works and what doesn't. And even tho its heartbreaking listening to baby cry, I PROMISE you will be forgiven and greeted with a smile when you come in in the morning.

Good luck




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