The pro and cons of getting a child support order?

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Chica

I am in my 7th month now and I battling what to do once the baby is born regarding child support. The father handed me $1000 the other day to buy things for the baby. The thing is that he doesn't work steadily so he has money sometimes but most of the time not. He has made all kinds of threats about how he won't pay should I take him to court. Also, we both want try to work out the relationship and I feel like taking him to Court is only going to make that less possible. I trust that he means well, as in, he wants to provide for his child, but I also think he will try to minipulate me with the money. As in, hold it back when we're not getting along, or give it to try to smooth things over. So, I feel stuck, like I am his whim without the order, or with the order he's going to raise hell and not pay. He has no problem not working, he'll find some women to take care of him, so I believe his threats about not paying. What kinda of security will the support oder offer me in my situation?

Answer
trust? i trust the child support calculator (listed below)...

the honor system doesnt work, thats been proven. he'll drop off a pack of diapers once in while, and go around tell'n everyone he 'supports' his child...you'll see.

the child support order protects your childs rights; there is no "fathers rights" in child support, nor "mothers rights" in child support...ONLY the child has rights. it protects what is supposed to be given and when. it keeps track and monitors said amounts (as long as you are calling the caseworker when its not being paid, for they are overloaded with cases).

GONE ARE THE DAYS OF HIDING TIL THE CHILD REACHES 18; today, laws are stronger then ever.
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when its not paid, you can do the following:
well the honor system doesnt work, thats been proven. its also why the state and federal government passed stronger laws for child support; they are TIRED of people not paying for their children.

the arrears still keep adding up.

1) call your caseworker and ask:
--request an enforcement hearing.
--where you apply for interest on the arrears?
--was the case submitted for tax refund intercept?
--was the arrears reported to the credit reporting agencies yet?
--ask why they have not taken his drivers license away yet?
--ask why they have not put liens on his bank accounts yet?
--ask why there has not been a warrant issued yet?

2) sit down and write a letter. in it, give your contact info, case number, his info, arrears amount, the problem and ask them what they are doing about it.

keep the letter short, its more effective that way.

then take that ONE letter and FAX it to the following:
a) your states Attorney General (link is below)
b) your states Governor (link is below)
c) your states Regional FEDERAL Child Support Office (link is below)

phone calls are useless; they are ignored, denied and forgotten. mail ends up on someones "to do" pile, but FAXES are effective. its proof you sent it and proof they recieved it, therefor, they HAVE to address it. if you cant find a fax number (most are listed online) then just call them and ask for it.

if you hear nothing in a week, fax them again. fax them weekly if need be. its the squeaky wheel that gets the oil, if ya know what i mean.

3) Report his azz to the IRS (in writing), for heâs supporting himself, somehow. Tell them you strongly suspect him working under the table to avoid a child support order.

4) Report his azz to the Social Security Office if heâs been using others SS#.

4) post his DEADBEAT FACE ON A DEADBEAT SITE ONLINE.
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some links for you; just click on your state and find the subject you need.

YAHOO SUPPORT GROUP
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SingleMomsOnaMission/

DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/creep/deadbeatparentssuck/
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm
www.goodparentspay.com

INTERSTATE CASES
http://library.findlaw.com/1999/Jan/1/241468.html
http://www.policyalmanac.org/social_welfare/archive/child_support_02.shtml
http://www.law.upenn.edu/bll/ulc/fnact99/1990s/uifsa96.htm
http://www.ericsa.org/
LONG ARM ACT (UIFSA) for INTERSTATE
http://www.ncsea.org/content.asp?contentid=614
http://www.law.upenn.edu/bll/ulc/fnact99/1990s/uifsa96.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/support-glossary.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/uifsahb.htm
http://www.ancpr.org/uifsa_definitions_and_provisions.htm

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/

YOUR STATES CS POLICY
http://childsupportcenter.org/stateprofiles.php

AGE TAKEN OFF
http://www.child-support-collections.com/statute-of-limitations.html

ABANDONMENT (NO SHOW PARENTS)
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/

NOT ALL PARENTS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN
And "RATIONAL LIES"
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/child_custody/article7.asp

FREE LEGAL HELP IN YOUR STATE
(just click on your state to find contact info)
http://www.lawhelp.org/

LAWS and INFO
http://www.delinquentdad.com/csr.htm
http://www.womansdivorce.com/
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://law.onecle.com/new-jersey/ (change the state to yours)
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-support-info.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
(and background cks to find them)
http://www.usarecordssearch.com/
http://www.zabasearch.com/
http://deadbeatsnitch.com/
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://omnitrace.com/Missing-Persons-Search.html?OVRAW=deadbeat&OVKEY=deadbeat&OVMTC=standard
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/
http://www.crimcheck.com/personalreports.htm
http://www.easybackgroundchecks.com/
http://www.abika.com/
http://www.freeprf.com/
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.netsleuth.com/
http://netonlineinvestigators.com/index.asp
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/locate-people.html

FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND DISABILITY
FOR CHILD SUPPORT
https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps6z/ISBA/main.html
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php
http://judiciary.senate.gov/

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/
COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p501/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

INJURED SPOUSE FORM
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563

REPORT DEADBEATS (AND EMPLOYERS)
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html


REPORT A DEADBEAT USING OTHERS
SS# TO AVOID CHILD SUPPORT or FILING TAXES
WITH OTHERS SS#
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq1-13.html
http://www.ssa.gov/oig/public_fraud_reporting/
http://www.ssa.gov/oig/hotline/

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

Should we require testing for having kids in the USA?

Q. I'm on the fence with this one. I believe that no one has the right to say who can and cannot have kids, but at the same time I believe that there's too many people having kids that do not want them, are not good parents, are not responsible enough and so on. Would the test be before or after the child is born? Who would administer the test? Who would ensure people are taking it? What kinds of questions would be on it? What are your thoughts - is it unethical to require such testing?

Answer
No... BUT... We should start a MANDATORY class on Sexual Education, Child Development, & Child Psychology starting at the same age we give start the "Health Classes", which I believe is Grade 5.

There should be a MANDATORY AlaTeen Meeting at EVERY HIGH SCHOOL to help deal with the pandemic of abuse, addiction, molestation, mental illness, etc. (& no, just because it is based on the 12-Step Program doesn't make it a bible-thumping christian recruitment center. That's a myth spread by people that don't want to seek help for their addictions/mental illness to justify their refusal to seek treatment.)

Children that are being abused, be it physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal/emotional abuse, raised by addicts, abandoned by a parent, raised by mentally ill parent/s, etc. should be provided with MANDATORY mental health treatment so they don't grow up to repeat the cycle of chaos & abuse that jacked up their parents...

Children of sexual abuse should have a note put in some sort of permanent record that they need extra therapy & to be monitored because 60% of abused children commit either Peer on Peer sexual abuse or Adult on Child sexual abuse. Sexual molestation is the only crime that exponentially increases the numbers of victimizers. (Not to mention that we now KNOW how abuse in Childhood alters UR epigenome & dramatically increases UR risk for obesity, diabetes, heart diseases, stroke, mental illness, & severe addiction.)

- - -- - -- - -- - -- - --
⺠Childhood Abuse May Increase Risk For Heart Attack, Stroke
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/13/childhood-abuse-may-incre_n_1089155.html

⺠NOVA Science Now - Topic: The Epigenome: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/3411/02.html
Streaming - BBC Horizon "The Ghost In UR Genes":
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=The+Ghost+in+UR+Genes&emb=0&aq=f#
- - -- - -- - -- - -- - --

Children born to Teenage Mothers should be given extra therapy & attention to make goddamned sure they don't make their half-tard baby-mamma's 35 year old grandmas... The pattern of behavior & family of origin is CLEAR CUT. The generational transmission of trauma causes children to grow up & repeat the same unhealthy behaviors of their parents.

The Government should subsidize Long Term Contraception starting at Puberty. The use of the Depo 3-Month Birth Control Shot has been documented to have drastically reduced the number of abortions & unwanted pregnancies in this country as well as in other areas of the world where women are 2nd class citizens & can be beaten for just asking her man to use a condom. Rwanda, Africa has a more advanced Female Reproductive Health Care System than the US does.

The patch, the shot, the ring, the implant... Just the fact that these girls won't be sh*tting out unwanted kids will pay the government back in full in a single generation because not only would welfare numbers go down, but CRIME would reduce because there won't be half as many abused kids acting out by going out & joining gangs, vandalizing property, stealing, mugging, etc. because when a Boy gets abused, they turn to crime & when a girl gets abused, she ends up pregnant at 14 & on the poll by 18. Just the long term reductions in prison population will repay ALL MONEY spent on therapy, education, & contraception.

Today, everyone believes that they are a special little snowflake... Utterly different than EVERYONE ELSE ON EARTH. They believe that with a short background history, no 1 could EVER predict their behavior because "I'm Special".

Yet what do we do with animals? How many polar bears must be studied before we can predict the behavior of almost all polar bears? 200? With humans, we might have to study 400 but the results are the same... We can predict a person's behavior based upon their past, specifically their family of origin.

Addict mom or dad? U have a 50% chance of having inherited the genetics for addiction. An intoxicated parent is an abusive parent which sets U up to be attracted to victimizers, chaos, & addicts as partners in adult life & U'll have a hard time maintaining healthy intimate relationships because of how UR brain was hardwired as a child.

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